The Best Worst: Commercials

There were plenty of delightful commercials this year, some so good that we don’t fast forward through them. Who didn’t love VW’s Tiny Darth Vader? Heartless troglodytes, that’s who. But I’ll leave judging the best among them to The Clio Awards.

Instead, let’s talk about the worst commercials. The kind that make people write angry letters. The kind that make you want to go back to an agrarian society simply so you’ll never again be exposed to such dreck.

These products are not inherently annoying. I am not including, for instance, the Alvin and the Chipmunks movie advertisements, because it is in their nature to be deeply irritating. I’m also not including any Old Navy commercials because the task of picking which is worst among them was stressing me out. (Seriously. How are they so consistently terrible?!)

Let’s start with the commercial that irritated me most recently.

This is actually a series of Best Buy ads where Moms are inexplicably mean to Santa Claus. Merry Christmas? Best Buy, that does not make me want to buy your product.

It is noteworthy that the poop joke at the heart of my next selection is not the most annoying thing about it.

No, it’s gotta be the shaky, headache inducing animation, or perhaps the cover of the song that was obnoxious when it came out in the 90’s. What baffles me the most is that this commercial went through several layers of approval. Multiple people heard the pitch “babies pooping explosively onstage.” And every single one of them signed off on it.

Ladies, ladies, ladies. Please. Give us your money so that you can be properly objectified! Brains, schmains. Make no mistake, the seat of your power in society lies between your legs. Hope it’s not stinky!

Those, kids, are my picks for the Best Worst Commercials of 2011, but I know there are more out there. What did I miss?


One thought on “The Best Worst: Commercials

  1. I feel like I have a lengthier comment in me, but for now I have to say that I had NEVER seen either of the second two commercials and I have not stopped thinking all day about exploding shit and mythical stinky vagina.


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