Two months ago, I started a new job with [name redacted] Medical Center.
I knew I liked it. I knew I was happier. But it has taken this long to really sink in how much happier.
Don’t get me wrong, I still miss the opera in many ways. I can’t overstate how much I miss the people. I miss the neighborhood. I miss being around art. I miss the commute and the dress code. I miss how weird and fun it could be. I don’t really foresee myself guffawing at my new job and I am absolutely sure I will have fewer stories to tell. I do love a good story.
But my new job is more interesting and so, so much less time working evenings and weekends. I’m writing more, for a boss who seems to really appreciate that particular skill in a position where it matters. Sometimes, I get to go to the medical library and research unusual illnesses or cutting edge treatments.
It really hit me, though, just how much better my life is now, when I realized how I’ve been using my leisure time. I don’t think I noticed how little I’d been reading until I started reading at my old (younger?) pace again. Books have been one of the great loves of my life and we grew apart during my time at the opera. I’m writing more (she said, stating the obvious, on her new blog). There is more improv and sketch in my life. I’m even drawing again, which is a hobby I haven’t indulged in since high school or so. With the encouragement of my boss, I’m applying for an accelerated grad program. 3 months ago, the idea of trying to go to school and work at the same time was completely out of the question, due to the ludicrous time constraints of my job. Now my boss is happily agreeing to write recommendations and make introductions. And my job will pay for it.
I started guarding my free time so jealously when I worked at the opera. I saw fewer plays because I didn’t want to spend my precious free time in the cultural district. I was less compromising on making plans, because if I wasn’t absolutely wild about an activity, it seemed like a waste of time. But god, spending time with my friends is never a waste. We have fun doing anything. Even my awesome #summerofyes had the slightest pall on it, my anxiety ratcheting up as the new season approached.
The last time I wrote about my job, it was in my old Livejournal (#quaint) and I wrote that I was “fraying at the edges” among other emo sentiments. That was less than a year ago. Whatever rut you’re in? It’s temporary.